Life Has Changed

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I didn't think I'd have the courage to make a blog entry for this month but I have news to share, I know it'll get back to my ex (baby daddy) unfortunately. Don't worry I'm still writing and producing content but it will be slowing down immensely. It wasn't my life choice to begin with. Reality has set in that I am no longer Disabled through Social Security, it wasn't my choice or any warning, it just happened back in June then my last payment for July. Did I want this? No. Will I have to work? Yes. I will have to get a job and I'm in search of one cause I do have to take care of my teenager. Can I get Disability back? Yes, but I need a Paper Trail once again, I have to get back to seeing doctors and everything to get it all in order to prove of all my health conditions. Do I want to do this? Honestly, no, I rather work until my body says no more but that isn't my reality. As mentioned in a post several years back I do have a heart condition along with other health problems that need to be addressed especially my Psoriasis and Psoriatic Arthritis. I need medication for sleep, depression, anxiety, and maybe see if I have some sort of Autism that wasn't diagnosed in my early years because I have a lot of issues that were ignored, I thought it might have been ADHD like my undiagnosed teen but no, mine is more than that and it's affecting my day to day life. No, I'm not making excuses I'm not that type of person when I know something is wrong with me, I can feel it and know it. If this tells you, I had to buy noise cancelling headphones because the world becomes too loud and all my sensitivities are higher than normal. I have to go shopping in the morning or late evening because crowds and noises are too much. I get over stimulated easy compared to my earlier years. I used to avoid these issues by tuning out everything around me, I can't anymore being a mom has made me feel more in tune with the world than I ever wanted. I will tell you this though I am disabled for life that is one thing I will never deny. Having a severe heart condition isn't a joke. Anyways, I'm writing this in case anyone wonders where my books have gone and if I was ever going to Publish again, yes, I'm going to continue Publishing, it's just adding in a day job is going to affect my writing schedule more so than being disabled and stuck at home.

I'm going to end this by saying. Keep on dreaming and don't give up when reality becomes too much.

Much Love,

Amber 

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