Two Months Of Self Reflect

-

I know I didn't make a blog for the whole month of May. Surprised! I can disappear. 

Here is where I'm at as a Writer and Author stand point:

I will write my Series' for AO3 then it will be my decision whether I do publish the continuation of them. Because as an Indie Author, I have rights and choices. 

I'm still considering stand alones whether Novella or Novel length for Publishing...my choices again.

Is this factoring in what is in control of my career? Yes, because of the fact that I've been through so much as an Author that I have fear every time I release something. My anxiety is through the roof anymore because of how much I'm told that my books are trash. 

You are wondering where I stand with myself as an Author? Well, that's the thing I love Publishing, I love being that Author. What has bothered me my whole career? Proving myself. EVERY. FUCKING. TIME. 

I have to sit here and prove my worth to people I know or don't know while all my other Author friends are Publishing without a bother in the world. I'm not accepted in many ways. It hurts. Its fear. Its wondering what am I worth to the world? 

In my world of Publishing people have made it to where I shouldn't exist. I shouldn't Publish. I shouldn't share anything of mine. 

I'm an Indie Author, I have freedom, I have decisions to make of my own. Yet, I'm still over here bending backwards for people who don't see my accomplishments. I'm an Author of 30 books and been apart of 2 Anthologies...what more could anyone ask of me? Not much more. 

I admit to throwing in the towel so many times. More than I like to count to be fairly honest. 

Truth is: I am going to keep releasing. Keep putting myself out there. I have earned my place in the Indie World. 

Follow me on Amazon for more new books: https://www.amazon.com/stores/Amber-M.-Kestner/author/B01I89K6QW

Add or Follow on Goodreads for your reviews of my books: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/15429450.Amber_M_Kestner

~Amber M. Kestner 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Privacy Of Writing

-
I've been with Archive Of Our Own for a month now or least close to it. I have gained amazing readers. My hits are nearing 200 and climbing daily. It's more so than Wattpad and Inkitt. WeInk some books are popular but not many. Now, I don't have many subscribers since starting but I'm not worried, I have grown my own subscribers for me with my friends in that close nit world.  Most of my Series' aren't popular across platforms. I get that and well, they don't sell on Amazon much on Amazon except when I did Audible back at the end March into April. Do I think this will be worth it? Maybe. Maybe not.  As an Author though this gives me Privacy and I can invite who I want to read my stories on AO3. I wish I was on AO3 before but I thought it was just for FanFics, boy was I wrong. I do still plan to keep Publishing, I have other works that I want to share with the world but otherwise, I think I'm keeping a safe space to just write stories that I don't wan...
Read more

Grieving, Depression, and Anger

-
I feel like since the loss of my mother in law Allison it has become a rocky road of emotions. Like I mentioned before, we didn't see eye to eye because I don't drink often and I don't like cigarettes as I'm highly allergic from the ashes. Yes, it is that serious. I'm also a heart disease patient so any thing that is bad for me can do damage to my heart if I'm not careful. Her result that day for me having a bad breathing attack cause of my heart was Benadryl. Was it wrong? No. But that wasn't going to cure me at all. It wasn't allergy related. Her home was permeated with smoke like my Grandparent Kissel's side was. I couldn't stay long around people who smoke for my own health reasons. I have somehow offended by not being able to stay in her house that day. She also denied Xia water that same day after me and Larry went to have lunch. Our biggest regret was leaving our kid with her without knowing what was gonna happen. I mean my ex sister in la...
Read more

Writing and Publishing

-
Two year hiatus? Haha yeah, no that isn't happening. I have to make money to support me and my kiddo. Did I want a break? Of course I do. 30 books is a lot for a person though there is Authors with 100+ books that is a huge deal. No, I'm not complaining or anything. I just know that I have to up my games with writing and take off time between gaming and reading. I mean, I will always be reading it is a must to keep the brain active and learn new words also characters.  Now, you are probably wondering what I'm going to be writing in my time.  Lesbian Café is a must by my audience that has to be released.  Shay's Burning Desire is another must, it's been delayed for many years, and it needs to be out there.  The Crow & the Blue Jay is one that I have readers anxiously waiting on. (m/m romance) As for anything else, I'm unsure to be honest. I know I got requested if I would write a book either for Mountain Getaway or Cozy Bakery Romance? My answer is Mountain G...
Read more