Posts

Two Months Of Self Reflect

I know I didn't make a blog for the whole month of May. Surprised! I can disappear.  Here is where I'm at as a Writer and Author stand point: I will write my Series' for AO3 then it will be my decision whether I do publish the continuation of them. Because as an Indie Author, I have rights and choices.  I'm still considering stand alones whether Novella or Novel length for Publishing...my choices again. Is this factoring in what is in control of my career? Yes, because of the fact that I've been through so much as an Author that I have fear every time I release something. My anxiety is through the roof anymore because of how much I'm told that my books are trash.  You are wondering where I stand with myself as an Author? Well, that's the thing I love Publishing, I love being that Author. What has bothered me my whole career? Proving myself. EVERY. FUCKING. TIME.  I have to sit here and prove my worth to people I know or don't know while all my other Auth...

Why Am I or My Books NOT apart of the Sapphic Romance Community?

Truth be known, I don't think I'm well liked. I tried one time to Promote with a fellow Author named Jae in her blog thing and such that promotes fellow Authors of my genre. Well, she literally pointed out that A Coffee Shop Romance shouldn't be included because it wasn't properly edited. That book is on WeInk and I hadn't had to go back an edit it. So, I'm not sure what the issue is to be exact. The book is still on her blog last I checked.  You know how they show Authors of many books in slides on Instagram, Facebook, and such. I'm never in them. I am a Sapphic Romance Author. I fit right in that space but you will never see me or my books represented by those people. EVER! It's been this way for nearly 10 years. I know I'm not the only Author who has been left out. But, this is why a lot of Communities in the Indie Publishing face backlash.  You want to know what Communities I see suffer for those that don't fit in the clicks: Horror LGBTQ+ (L...

Archive of Our Own (AO3) Vs. Other Platforms

I'm in pain so forgive me if this blog sounds unusual.  I will say this I'm happily and in love with Archive of Our Own. I didn't think I'd ever fall in love with another platform over another as I'm one to stay where I'm at. The major difference is being able to write without covers or anything extra to make a story stand out and their is no rules or restriction to get me banned like it can be for certain platforms.  You see I've been with Wattpad, Inkitt, GetInkspired, aJoara, GoodNovel, Dreame (StaryWriting) and many, many, many other places including Booknet that was also a favorite of mine. Sadly, I can't translate my books from English to Spanish not unless someone wants to spend hours doing so. I wish they kept the English platform but I understand that it wasn't in the right cards.  I will say this I love making my own bookcovers or have someone else do it. It's part of the journey to grow as an Writer and Author. But, over the years bein...

Where Do I Stand?

I tried to make this post on Facebook but it didn't feel right. It didn't feel wise to make it in one social media platform when I share my world with everyone around me.  The reason I really wanted to step away is because being in the spotlight is too much and all the backlash but it's not the real reason. It's the reason of trying to be a Mary Kay Consultant though truth be known it's been almost a month and nothing has happened. I will also be honest on another thing I hate annoying people. I hate begging and pleading for someone to buy something.  Am I business savvy? Oh yeah, I have the minds and means too but it doesn't mean I want to be up peoples asses just to make some money.  You know what job/career is easier being an Indie Author. It's the dream of telling stories, it's the dream of having those readers grab your books, and it's the real one's that show up. I make more being an Author than doing anything else. Even though it's onl...

Stepping Away

I'm quietly stepping away from Publishing. I'm choosing me over my audience.  I've made announcements across platforms.  You want my books. You want those stories. You want me apart of your lives.  Then you will know where to find me.  I'm not quitting. I'm not shutting out. I'm not looking at the world. I'm looking for me who I was before I became an Author. Before I became somebody. Before the world decided I wasn't enough for this Industry.  Before those that shamed me. Before those that took my joy. Before those took my happiness. This is where I stand.  This isn't goodbye. This is see you later. Amber M. Kestner (Author of A Coffee Shop Romance)

A Future Outlook

I don't know how to explain this without possibly making me sound like I've lost my mind.  I know Lesbian Café is supposed to be extended. I know some readers were expecting it. Trust me, I had an email from a lady who also wanted it to be extended. My husband Larry and my best friend Amber did too.  Problem: The story has ended. I can't add more to it without losing the audience. My best bet would be to make a short story later with spice if wanted and like a better feel to it. That is all I can/could do if in the right direction. All I can do is press forward. I do have new contents in the works. I can't go backwards for anything when my future is brighter. I have to make the right decisions for my career even if it's going to bite me in the ass. When I took down Lesbian Café on my reading apps to prepare for the extended version my audience disappeared in an instant. No one wanted to read my other books, they didn't want what they already have for the book, a...

The History of Bullying and Harassment

No one has to read this. It began after the father of my child left me. Like he literally made me move out of his house and left West Virginia behind to go be with his new wife after divorcing his second. I did try and marry him myself after being together off and on. The relationship was ridiculous to begin with. The major age gap started when I was 19 and ended when I was 21. He was the reason behind me missing my first heart surgery. By the way, he was in his mid to late 30's when we got together and he is now 50 something...doing the math ain't hard.  Now fast forward a bit after he left and my life had moved on. What's worse my Facebook was personally hacked that started before I had Melanie (Xia). Day in and day out, trying to keep my life normal. Yeah, that didn't happen. Since then I've had the worst deals dealt to me. It isn't helping my stress level any. I swear I could die of a heart attack at any point.  Here is what they get me on: My looks Being di...