A Massive Rant

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What am I going on about now? Simple: Being noticed, being known, and being pestered. I honestly can't wait until my AllAuthor thing expires because I'm seriously done with the emails. I will always love AllAuthor and it isn't their fault. They have left emails for Authors to report the spams and such, the constant harassment but these people don't know when to stop and take NO! as a complete sentence. Ever since releasing 31 books and pushing myself beyond limits it's a never ending cycle. I have a Novel, I'm trying to write but I keep pushing the release date later and later because I'm dealing with constant emails from Book Marketers, Cinnamic Video Promoters, Book Club Promotions, and god forbid anything else. The emails/phone calls for Vanity and Traditional have finally stopped since we didn't have the house phone for several weeks. If I can finish my Novel by next year, I will be blessed because with the constant harassment, I feel like it is pushing my breaking point. I'm more rude than I want to be and playing nice is only getting me so far. I'M DONE! I'M LITERALLY FUCKING DONE! I want to be left alone, I want to work, and I want to be myself again without being bothered about my books not getting enough reviews, not reaching readers, not doing this or that or whatever bullshit is to get my attention. 

If this tells you, I would rather be gaming anymore than being at my desk working on books. I love my career, I love writing but it's becoming one of those is it worth all the harassment that I'm getting? I'm not famous by any means, I still struggle to make any sort of income being an Indie Author and my stories aren't as popular as some that are known like a few Sapphic Authors that I've come to see or come across in platforms. I will never reach that high end of the world because I don't want it.

For those still in the shadow's, not seen or even noticed be thankful because it is growing tired on me. It has burnt me out and annoyed and pissed me off to no end. I have no silence anymore. I wish I did, to be honest, the world being silenced around me is so much more than I have ever asked for. I will say this again, I didn't ask for it, I didn't want this from the start because I don't care about the fame or being noticed, I just want readers to see my books and let the stories reach their souls like they have mine. It took years to find that rhythm but I have found it and want to keep at it.

It is off to go write more because I've slacked for so long that it is bothering me. 

Amber

Comments

  1. Raven Genevieve UniversityFebruary 4, 2026 at 9:23 PM

    That's so sad! I don't have the visibility that you do, but I absolutely understand being pummeled with the emails and messages! Two years ago I kind of dropped off the face of the author-verse because 100% of my 'author time' was dedicated to clearing notifications, email ads, random messages, and trying to like/comment everything in front of me to boost my algorithm. I was burnt out. I fully understand the benefit of having a media 'person' to do all that for you. I only wish I could afford one, so I could get more famous, but could never afford one because I'm not famous. Catch 22! hahaha Good luck, and I hope that you find your zen and are able to tune out the noise.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LesbianJulietFebruary 5, 2026 at 9:52 AM

      I could never, ever afford a media person to do what I do. That's the bad part. I do it all. If I disappear from radar, it will be a surprise to everyone. I mean, I already announced that I plan too due to personal life but being in the spotlight wasn't what I wanted after producing 31 books (2 being Anthologies). Yes, I like being seen but not to the extent of EVERY person contacting me for anything and everything in the Industry. Hell, I got more Traditional Publishing companies contacting me now too and I don't want it. I love being an Indie Author with so much freedom and decisions of my own. More times than I can count I would rather not be on radar for anyone. I just can't drop my career since it is the only income I am currently making since I don't have SSI, SSDI, and Medicaid anymore through Social Security. I miss my silence, I miss my email boxes just being of random junk mail but instead, I am tormented daily. The only major catch is getting emails from fellow Authors but they think they know what is best for me and they really don't, I have to shut them down and I hate doing that but I don't want the help. I wish you good luck too and you get yourself out there again. Glad to have you back! <3

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